Thank You Letter to Santa

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Dear Santa,

I reallyreallyREALLY want to thank you for everything you brought me for Christmas!! It was one of the bestest ever!

I think my favorite was the win over the Bears on Christmas night. Wow, was THAT great. I hoped the Packers would win but this was sweeeeeeet! I went to bed with visions of sugar plums and a first round by dancing in my head.

Thanks not givin’ the Bears nuthin’. They don’t deserve it.

I asked you for the offensive line to get healthy and even better than that you gave me an offensive line that gave up no sacks and had no penalties all game. Santa – I TOLD you these were reallreallyREALLY good boys! With no Chad Clifton and no Derrick Sherrod and no Bryan Bulaga I admit I was a little worried but Santa – dude – you came through in the clutch big time, just like the line.

And our coach Mike McCarthy? Yep, he got respect here too for that game. It was reallyreallyREALLY smart of him to lay back and see how things developed in the first half and then turn Aaron Rodgers loose in the second half. He made sure the new guys like Evan Dietrich Smith could play and T.J. Lang was comfortable out of position and when those guys showed they were okay MM turned the dogs loose. On the Bears. Double thank you!!

Thanks not givin’ the Bears nuthin’. They don’t deserve it.

And you didn’t forget Jordy Nelson. He loved that long bomb you dropped on him. And he didn’t drop it either.

And I think you did get some new gloves or something for Jermichael Finley because he didn’t drop so much this week.

I was still a little disappointed you didn’t leave a pass rush for me. If the elves are backed up and it is backordered I can wait. But remember I get  reallyreallyREALLY impatient and won’t wait for too long for one to show up. The one we had is missing and frankly I’m getting a little worried about it. So if it’s lost can you get the elves to get it in gear and like hurry up and get it here while there’s still time to play with it? Maybe that new guy Vic So’Oto can. I saw him a couple times yesterday and maybe he knows where our pass rush went.



Sacks and picks. Take your choice



My good friend Clay Matthews was shocked you gave him an interception for Christmas!! Holy Cow!!! Everyone knows he likes to tackle and Clay told me he was so shocked when he found a gift wrapped interception he damn near dropped it!! OOOPS!!! Sorry Santa – didn’t mean to swear!!!! But anyway Clay was so surprised he did a little happy dance on his knees and made us all laugh because we were so glad to see him get one this year.

Thanks not givin’ the Bears nuthin’. They don’t deserve it.

One half of ESPN's Dumb and Dumber

I hope you brought some humble pie for those goofballs on ESPN like Skip Bayless and Merrill Hodge who keep saying the Packers aren’t that good. Man, these guys must be dumb!!! They keep saying “Stats, stats, stats” and saying the Packers D is next last in stats but every time I look I see a 14 – 1 record! Maybe I’m dumb but that’s a pretty damn good record! Sorry Santa – didn’t mean to swear!!!! But Hodge sucked when he played and now he sucks just as much as Skip Useless and they don’t know nuthin’ apparently. 

Like his counterpart, the mouth is
open but nothing's coming out

And both Skip Useless and Merrill the Mouth Hodge was saying how the Bears defense was going to chew up the Packers. Maybe the Bears didn’t listen to Dumb and Dumber very well because Aaron Rodgers tore them up.

Santa, thanks for making sure Aaron got his MVP. All them dummies with their dumb stats can go on and on and on about Drew Brees and Tom Brady and their stats but last I checked Rodgers had 45 TD’s – a new team record – 7 interceptions – that Bert guy he replaced had 6 alone in a playoff game once – 4,500 yards, AND Rodgers has a team that’s 14 – 1. Don’t these idiots read all the stats, or are they just bored or lazy and looking to make a lot of noise about nuthin’???

Thanks not givin’ the Bears nuthin’. They don’t deserve it.

And I was kinda surprised you gave so much to Josh McCown. Or was it Cade McCown? Or was it McNown? Anyway he musta been surprised too because even though you gave him lots of stuff and you couldn’t find our pass rush McClown didn’t do nuthin’ with it. DOH!!! Bet he feels stupid today!! Hey… maybe he could join Dumb and Dumber and talk about how great his stats was, because they’re the only ones who think that stupid stuff is all that and a plate of cookies.

And Santa, as much as I hate the Bears I hope you dropped a big lump of coal in Mike Martz’s stocking. He’s the Bears offensive coordinator but he is just plain bad bad bad. And he is dumb – reallyreallyREALLY dumb. He’s so dumb he could join Skip Useless and Merrill Hodge and look like a genius, kinda like the brightest bulb in a burned out pack of bulbs.

Wait – instead of coal, give Martz a nice long extension. Yeah… as dumb as he is Chicago is a good place for him.

Thanks not givin’ the Bears nuthin’. They don’t deserve it.

Mike Martz, lost in thought

Now we got a nuthin game against a bunch of thugs trying tom prove they can run with the big dogs. Let’s not get anyone hurt and so what – even if the Lions actually will it won’t matter because it just doesn’t matter. If they somehow get lucky and we see them again, well, I kinda think you already gave us enough for that. But if they want to get stupid again maybe Mike Martz can take them on the Skip Useless and Merrill the Mouth Hodge Show and they could have a dumb-a-thon and raise money for stupidity.

And it may sound selfish but don’t give nuthin’ to the Lions. They realreallyREALLY don’t deserve it.

Is it just coincidence?? You decide

By the way – does Mike Martz come up to the North Pole and pose for your Mr. Potato Head dolls? Because he sure acts like Mr. Potato Head. Cuz he’s so dumb.

Well, Santa, I hope you liked the beer and brats. I left milk and cookies for you but I figured you needed the beer and brats for the big game. I’m going to go enjoy the start of the 5 game winning streak you brought me. Have a great off season again!

Love,

The Pack RaTS

P.S. Don’t forget I’m still waiting for you to bring me a pass rush!!